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EnuoCale

...Where will you go?
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Because I have to do this now, apparently.

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
I can barely even see, much less be able to tell the difference.

2. Smart?
Yes; Dark Jesus. This one I can give a real answer to.

And wise is somewhat important as well, if not more so. And it is moreso.

3. Preferred age?
Will I get arrested if I say eigh... te... twelve? seventy-three!

4. Preferred height?
believe me, it's not me who the difference would come to matter to.

6. How about piercings?
No. Are we trying to win the "how much can we look like hookers" contest?

7. Accepts you for who you are?
No. I like people who completely despise everything about me, obviously. Who doesn't?

8. Pink hair?
N... does that even exist?

9. Mushy or no?
does this mean something about having to write bad poetry? Because no.

10. Thin or fat?
well, I don't have any harpoons with me...

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
What? Are you accusing me of being racist? Who told you!?!

12. Long hair or short?
medium. I will not go into the long explanation.

13. Eyes Color?
Glowing white with Law Hero powers. :iconholyplz:

15. Smoker?
Smoking is only good for pissing people off by blowing smoke into their face who disapprove of it. So not more than the situation allows.

16. Drinker?
No. I have SOME dignity in who I'm willing to be surrounded with.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
I'm not sure what this means, and not willing to expend effort finding out.

18. Muscular?
Are you accusing me of being gay now? Who told you?!

19. Plays piano?
in abandoned buildings surrounded by a still sea creepily by themself as you sail a boat up to it, yes.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
I'm sure that I've already discussed that only jackasses play guitar.

21. Plays violin?
Yes. Under similar conditions mentioned above.

22. Sings very good?
depends what one means by good. Not that I care, really.

23. Vain?
Yes, but only if deserved.

24. With glasses?
Two pairs of sunglasses, to be able to take one off when business starts, but also have one on while doing business.

25. With braces?
does this matter?

26. Shy type?
I assume every rational person in the world despises loud people.

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Where I come from, these are the same thing.

28. Active or passive?
Both simultaneously.

29. Tight or bomb?
What?

30. Singer or dancer?
no, yes? weren't one of these already up earlier?

31. Stunner?
I'm not sure what this means...

32. Hiphop?
Dark Jesus, no.

33. Earrings?
Wasn't this already asked?

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
No. Do I even need to explain why?

35. Dimples?
I'm not sure what those are.

36. Bookworm?
Yes. People who don't read are generally stupid, or at best uncreative.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
Not unless you mean in the voices of a distant star sense.

38. Playful?
While wearing footie pajamas on someone else's property at a party nobody was invited to.

...I need to buy some of those. Remember.

39. Flirt? with others?
No. Even stupider. Though what people often consider that form of entertainment is just how I act normally.

40. Poem writer?
as long as they aren't terribly thematically relevant to their supposed positegative emotions about such.

41. Serious?
Everything is serious. And meaning maximal business. At least seventeen pockets. Why does no one understand the importance of pockets?

42. Campus crush?
Bad idea; especially where I'm from.

43. Painter?
Sure, why not.

44. Religious?
We can hardly be the new law heroes for this ressurection elsewise. We're looking light/law, or light/chaotic. Neutral/law is preposterous.

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
Cruelly. But ultimately only for the greater good. :icontrollfaceplz::iconholyplz:

46. Computer games geek?
As long as they're not online games. And preferably not shitty games.

47. Lips?
Like... the kind on a face? Are there different kinds?

48. Loyal or faithful?
Are we assuming that there are people who prefer people who aren't? How do you expect to run a competent cult under those conditions. :iconwtfisthisplz:

49. Good kisser?
There's going to be humor and knives involved either way, believe me.

50. Loves children?
People who don't like kids are generally terrible human beings.

I also noticed there was SUSPICIOUSLY no 14. Someone along the line must have dropped it because they didn't want to answer. I'm on to you.
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Now, right when I wanted to have lunch, I was going to take our leftover chicken, and make some baked beans, and go get a fountain drink from Speedway. If it wasn't bad enough that I was informed that someone ate not only all the chicken, but also all the baked beans; right when I was going to go to speedway, there was a standoff directly out front between police and two people who had weapons, so I can't go anywhere. Now I'm thirsty, and bitter, and have nothing to eat, and can't go anywhere to get anything either.

FFFFFF.
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This. Why not?

16 min read
More or less. I copied it with some answers still in it, so I might have missed one or two.

Emo

[ ] I cry a lot.
[ ] I go to local shows.
[x] I wear black everyday.
[ ] I write sad poetry.
[ ] I play an acoustic guitar.
[ ] My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy , My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.
[x] I think about suicide or death often.
[ ] People have told me to cheer up.
[ ] I cry when I see dead animals.
[ ] My myspace pics are black or white or angled.
[ ] I wear many band shirts.
[x] No one understands me.
[x] I don't talk too often.
[ ] I look down when I walk.
[ ] I wear black eyeliner.
[ ] I have an ex I still cry over.
[ ] My hair is black.
[ ] My hair covers one of my eyes.
[x] I always say 'life sucks'.

Total: 5


Nerd

[ ] I have straight A's. (Too much effort.)
[ ] I wear glasses.
[ ] I always do my homework and study. (I've never opened a book to study for something I wasn't personally interested in in my life more more then five minutes.)
[ ] Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.
[ ] Computer games.
[x] I'm 'teachers pet'.
[x] I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.
[ ] I have a bedtime.
[ ] I use an asthma inhaler.
[ ] I carry a calculator with me.
[ ] I bring my lunch to school.
[ ] I always follow the rules.
[ ] I'm shy around the opposite sex.
[x] I'm always on the computer.
[ ] I've never had beer or cigarettes.
[x] I always answer every question in class right.
[ ] I correct people's grammar.
[x] I read a lot.
[ ] School is very important to me.
[x] I always stump people.

Total: 7


Rebel

[x] I always speak my mind.
[ ] I have 0% of school spirit.
[x] Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me!
[x] I stand up for what I think is right.
[x] On spirit days at school, I wear the rebel's colors.
[x] Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.
[ ] I won't listen to authority figures. (sometimes. Sometimes they're right, though.)
[x] I always break the rules.
[ ] I refuse to compromise.
[x] I'm always arguing with people.
[x] I love debate.
[x] I always do what's unexpected of me.
[x] I don't give a shit what people think of me.
[x] If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.
[x] I'm not afraid to contradict others.
[x] I only respect my own beliefs. (in what context?)
[ ] If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.
[x] I laugh at compromising people.
[ ] I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.
[x] Rules were meant to be broken.

Total: 15

Jock

[ ] I'm on one or more sport teams.
[ ] I always wear my varsity jacket.
[ ] I've won awards for my athletic ability.
[ ] I will only date popular girls/guys.
[ ] School Spirit 100%.
[ ] I'm going to a college for sports.
[ ] I watch sports on tv all the time
[ ] I'm muscular.
[ ] I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.
[ ] Go Team!
[ ] I'm a chick/dude magnet.
[ ] I eat a lot.
[ ] I'm egotistical.
[ ] I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.
[ ] I sit at the jock lunch table.
[ ] All I talk about with my friends is sports.
[ ] I go to lots of sports games.
[ ] I'm very athletic
[ ] I wear sport inspired clothing.
[ ] play at least 3 different sports.

Total: 0


Comedian

[x] I'm funny.
[x] I'm always making jokes.
[ ] I interrupt class by making people laugh.
[x] I like to entertain people.
[ ] I worship Kevin Smith.
[ ] I watch comedies more than anything.
[ ] I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot
[x] I'm sarcastic.
[x] I've been told I'm hilarious.
[x] I always imitate people.
[x] I pull lots of pranks.
[x] I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.
[ ] I have to prove myself by being funny.
[x] People expect me to make jokes, always.
[ ] I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.
[ ] If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.
[ ] Jim Carrey is my idol
[ ] I mostly get along with everybody.
[x] At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.
[ ] My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.

Total: 10


Shy

[x] I don't have a lot of friends.
[x] I don't talk too much.
[ ] It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.
[ ] When people say my name, others say 'who?'
[ ] I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am. (Apparently, I'm a common topic of conversation)
[x] People have told me I need to talk more.
[x] I only talk when other people talk to me first
[ ] I look down when I walk.
[x] I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.
[x] People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.
[ ] I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.
[ ] I sit in the back of the classroom.
[ ] I never participate in class discussions.
[ ] I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.
[ ] I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.
[x] I talk quietly, and people say "What?"
[x] People have called me shy or quiet.
[ ] I usually let others decide for me.
[ ] If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.
[ ] I would like to be more outgoing.

Total: 8

Goth

[x] I wear black.
[x] I don't like to be seen.
[ ] I'm very, very pale.
[ ] I only listen to metal or emo-ish music.
[x] I love creepy, weird movies.
[ ] I love gothic cartoons and drawings.
[x] I don't like people.
[x] I only go out during the night.
[ ] I have black fingernails.
[x] I wear a long black coat.
[x] I also wear big black boots.
[ ] 'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.
[ ] I only date other Goths.
[x] I love black humor.
[x] I love pain.
[x] People think I'm crazy.
[x] I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me. (in person, that is.)
[x] I love to scare people.
[x] I laugh at teenyboppers.
[x] People are scared of me.

Total: 14

Weirdo

[x] I talk to myself.
[x] I say really random things all the time.
[x] I fidget a lot.
[ ] I still use a wheeled backpack.
[ ] People laugh at me.
[x] I walk really funny.
[x] I have a very different sense of style.
[x] I talk in a robot voice often.
[x] I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.
[x] I debate stuff with myself.
[ ] I hear voices. (occasionally, but not really.)
[ ] I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.
[x] I have a fascination with robots and machinery.
[x] I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.
[x] I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.
[x] I dart my eyes from side to side.
[x] I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non human thing.
[x] People have no idea why I think the way I do.
[x] I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.
[x] When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.

Total: 16


Antisocial

[x] I hate most people.
[x] I prefer to be alone.
[x] When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.
[x] Actually, most people don't talk to me. (Well, a lot of them try once.)
[x] People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.
[x] I live in my room, writing in my diary.
[x] I go out my way to avoid everyone.
[x] I never greet anyone.
[x] I despise people who talk too loudly.
[x] I want people to think I'm a freak.
[x] I never talk.
[x] I can't wait to get off this earth.
[x] I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.
[x] I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp3 player/headphones to block out the world
[ ] I don't know why I am the way I am.
[x] People have said I'm antisocial.
[ ] I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness. (does caffeine count? Though that's for a different reason.)
[x] Why bother when people don't like you anyways?
[x] I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.
[ ] I just don't get along with anyone. (questionable. I can get along with anyone, most people just refuse to function on a reasonable level which makes it worth my continued effort.)

Total: 17. yeah.


Skater

[ ] I skateboard to everywhere.
[ ] If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.
[ ] I shop at Pacsun.
[ ] I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.
[ ] Oh yeah, and Bam Margera. (he's hot)
[ ] I always play skateboarding video games.
[ ] I have shaggy hair.
[x] I wear baggy pants.
[ ] I wear skater shoes only.
[ ] I always wear hoodies.
[ ] I hang at skate parks 24/7.
[ ] I'm always learning new board tricks.
[ ] Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.
[ ] I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.
[ ] I hang with other skaters.
[x] I've been hurt while skateboarding. (my fucking front teeth. Now I can't eat carmel apples)
[ ] I've been in a skateboarding competition.
[ ] I wear vans.
[ ] Tony Hawks games own.
[ ] I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.

Total: 2


Christian Girl/Boy

[x] I go to church at least once a week.
[ ] Most of my wardrobe consists of long skirts and button down shirts for church.
[ ] I always carry a bible with me.
[ ] My whole family is very religious.
[x] I've never been on a date.
[ ] I've never smoked or had a beer.
[x] My beliefs are very strong.
[x] I'm waiting for marriage until sex.
[x] I wear a cross necklace.
[ ] I have a bracelet that says WWJD.
[x] I'm always preaching to people about the importance of religion.
[x] I believe in God.
[ ] I'm not allowed to watch rated R movies, and sometimes, not even PG-13 movies.
[x] I never go out and party.
[ ] I read the bible everyday. (often, though.)
[x] I've memorized excerpts from the bible.
[ ] I go to Sunday school.
[ ] I've been to church camp.
[ ] I pray every night.
[x] I sing Christian songs. I... I like them.

Total: 10


Gangsta

[ ] I say 'yo'.
[ ] I also say 'fo shizzle'.
[ ] I wear extremely baggy pants.
[ ] Mah chainz hang low.
[ ] I hang with my homies, biotches, and ***'s.
[ ] I'm a thug.
[ ] I only listen to rap music.
[ ] 50 Cent is my idol.
[ ] I don't give a frick about school.
[ ] I steal/have stolen before.
[ ] I freestyle.
[ ] I breakdance.
[ ] Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.
[ ] I'm white but I act black.
[ ] All my heroes are dead rappers.
[ ] Tupac is still alive.
[ ] I party with all my ****.
[ ] I wear a sideways baseball cap.
[ ] I wear hoodies.
[ ] I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.

Total: 0


Bully

[ ] I always steal people's lunch money.
[x] Geeks are afraid of me.
[ ] I get in trouble all the time.
[x] I steal people's stuff to be an asshole. (ironically. Not actually.)
[ ] People have called me a bully.
[ ] I have beat someone up before.
[ ] I'm always looking for a fight.
[x] I pick on people smaller than me. (of course, that's pretty much everyone.)
[ ] I push people out of the way when I'm walking.
[x] I've never been in a relationship before.
[x] People are afraid of me.
[x] People know not to mess with me.
[x] I'm bigger than most people my age.
[x] I pick on people for the fun of it.
[x] I make fun of everything anyone else likes.
[ ] If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.
[ ] People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.
[ ] I'm one of the strongest kids in school.
[x] Even some authority figures are afraid of me.
[ ] People get out of my way when I'm walking.

Total: 10 most of this is for different reasons, though.


Gamer

[x] I own at least 2 different video game consoles.
[x] I love Final Fantasy. (Not really. But enough to qualify.)
[ ] DDR & Guitar Hero
[x] I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.
[ ] I'm always trying to beat high scores on games. Not much. except in warioware, maybe.
[ ] I even play a lot of computer games.
[x] I play at least 3 hours of video games a day. (not every day. When I'm into one)
[ ] My thumbs are sore often.
[ ] I spend all my money on new video games.
[ ] My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.
[ ] All I talk about is video games.
[ ] I've been in a video game competition before.
[ ] I pay over 30$ a month in online games.
[ ] I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console(s)
[x] I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game i play most
[x] I have played at least a complete week in the game i like most.
[ ] I wouldnt know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.
[ ] My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so i dont spend whole weekends and holidays playing.
[x] Ive actually read a book about videogames.
[ ] I have more than one online account on the same game.

Total: 7. Most of these questions are illogical, though.

Girly

[ ] I have long hair
[ ] I wear make up everyday
[ ] I carry a purse.
[ ] I have to get someone else to come kill a spider or any bug
[ ] I paint my nails
[ ] I use perfume
[ ] I keep my nails clean/shaped
[x] I shower regularly
[ ] I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom
[ ] I like to accessorize
[x] I like flowers
[ ] I don't like to be outdoors
[ ] I'm more like my mother than my father
[ ] I like hanging out with girls (friends) than boys.
[ ] I like going to the mall/shopping
[ ] I watch my weight/ count calories
[ ] I plan outfits ahead of time
[ ] People say I have a soft/sweet voice
[ ] I dream about and am already planning my wedding day
[ ] I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc

Total: 2

Boyish

[x] I have short hair
[x] I hate doing laundry
[ ] I like war type video games
[ ] I like playing or watching sports
[x] People say I have a deep voice
[ ] I'm more like my Dad than my mom.
[ ] I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends
[x] I act tough, it doesn't matter whats going on inside me
[x] There's only two emotions (correction: There are no emotions.)
[ ] I shower only when I (or others) start to notice I stink
[ ] I think about the opposite sex a lot
[x] My room isn't neat
[x] I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers
[ ] My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care
[x] I like to play rough with dogs
[ ] I like the movies 300, Transformers, The Dark Knight. Those all suck.
[ ] The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk
[ ] I don't read
[ ] I don't ask for help even if I need it

Total: 8
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I just had a dream where I was in the secret capitalist hideout, and discovered a book they had there called "The last Banking Testament of Christ" which they claim was a secret passed down through generations between the capitalists dictating about how capitalism was created by Jesus and Mary Magdalene, in order to keep all money away from poor people, and keep rich people rich forever.

Then I went on an archaeological adventure, like Indiana Jones, and discovered the original copy, which opened with a metaphorical statement which was something like "Jesus be with us," but which had been mistranslated into implying that it means Jesus was literally the one dictating the rules of capitalism, and that this was passed down by mistake. So I brought the whole thing to light, and used the evidence to end capitalism forever.
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Religion forum

1 min read
Now, you may have heard the great news that there's going to be a whole forum dedicated solely to people being dicks to other people. Or whatever it's supposed to be for; I don't know. hq.deviantart.com/blog/4082897… Anyways, yes, as part of the new updates, they're making in what was probably one of their less wise decisions, but which nonetheless makes me happy a religions forum.

And why? Because with my genius intuition, similar to the politicsforum club, I made this. darel-phiforumclub.deviantart.… Mind you, since the update won't actually go through for a few weeks, until then it's just going to be a pretty much empty space. But if you know anyone who might be interested, you can let them know beforehand.
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